Catalyst

Sometimes you need a catalyst to make necessary changes in your life. Sometimes that catalyst is something small, sometimes something big.

I know I harbor a lot of anger, though I’m not really certain why. It’s been fun to blame it on the redhead part of me – quick temper, easily angered. On the flip side, I also know I’m more sensitive to other emotions as well, the good and the bad, but most of the others don’t boil over the way anger tends to.

I really need to change a lot of things in my life. Well, attitudes, not things.

I need to find a way to stop being so angry.

This is not an easy task as there are so many things in the world to be angry about.

Politicians who yell for religious freedom, but only if it’s their religion. PETA, who claims to be pro-animal, stealing pets from people’s homes and killing them (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/douglas-anthony-cooper/peta-steals-and-kills-lit_b_6156196.html), people who claim to be Christian cutting funding for the poor or killing people over the color of their skin, religious extremists of any faith killing and maiming and taking away the rights of citizens, pollution going unchecked because people want to be rich, and so forth and so on. There’s so much in the world to be angry about, it’s hard not to be.

What makes it even more frustrating is the lack of any power to do anything about it. I can write letters to my senators, I can point out to others how their beliefs are harming humanity, I can try to find ways to make little differences, but it’s hard when so many other people are doing nothing.

We had the chance to stop much of what was happening in this country simply by going out to vote in the last election and remove the harmful senators and congresspeople, but so many people sat on their butts at home, our world fell a little deeper into the abyss.

It’s hard not to be angry.

I needed a catalyst to try and find a way around that anger, to feel like I was in control of something again and use that sense of control to move forward in my life.

While some may not understand the precise reasoning, while some may even call my choice of catalyst silly, stupid, or a waste of money, it’s what I needed to restart the calm inside me.

I bought a car. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy. A 2015 Honda Fit, 6 speed manual transmission. The base model Fit is nothing to brag about in regards to horsepower, or top speed, but it is the first (and most likely ONLY) brand new car I will ever buy.

There are other reasons for the purchase as well – reasons like knowing everything about the car and how it’s been treated so there are less likely to be any surprises due to maintenance issues.

Reasons like the fact that the engine is easier to access and work on so that when the car is out of warranty, I can do more of the work myself without having to dissemble the front end to get into it, and some of the safety issues found in the 2009 to 2012 Fit have been remedied (offset front end collision issues have been taken care of).

Those are nice, but the main purpose behind this was to feel in control of something again and use that to throw myself forward into some necessary life changes.

It’s time to save money (I know, I just bought a car), it’s time to finally lose the 85 pounds I’ve put on since my wedding, it’s time to stop spending so much time on little mindless games on my iPhone and read a book (whether a paper book or one on my tablet or phone, it doesn’t matter), or write another book. It’s time to take more time with my wife when we have it and focus more attention on her.

It’s time to change.

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About Micah Brown

A writer, photographer, husband and animal lover with a day job in Technology. I live with my wife, daughter, stepson, four cats, three dogs, two sheep, seven hens, two rabbits, a king snake, a crested gecko, and an albino corn snake in the wilds of Maine.
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